Fate
by rainbow letters
Summary: Maybe under different circumstances she would have smiled, but fate wasn't on her side lately. KakaSaku.


I spent a lot of hours re-drafting this, and it took me several attempts before I produced a smile on my face.

I hope you like it, my hard work and story are dedicated to you.

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto.

Summary: Maybe under different circumstances she would have smiled, but fate wasn't on her side lately.

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**Fate**

_This can't happen._

She sat there in silence staring at the inanimate opened box in her hands.

_This fate can't happen to me._

Her mind is split in two. One is a surging tingle to her fingertips, as if it were trying to encourage her to move her limbs, telling her to stand up and be strong. The other is screaming at her to run away – anywhere.

An overwhelming nauseous feeling in the pit of her icy stomach interrupts her thoughts, as it twists into an untangling knot. A faint feeling washes throughout her body like a tsunami, causing goose bumps to arise from the top of her head to the soles of her feet.

The wave washes away, and with it takes every bit of warmth from the remains of her body. Her heart starts beating icicles around her veins; she can feel them piercing her insides.

_This can't be real. It must be a dream – it has to be a dream._

She tries to tell herself; squeezing her eyes tight shut she feels the tears prick her eyes and fall like a trickling stream over her pale and colourless cheeks.

The box she had held in her hands was now lying dented in the middle of the floor. She placed her head in her hands and prayed for something or anything to make this problem disappear.

She sat there for what seemed like eternity before some part of her body forced her to stand up with the strength she had left. Stumbling to an upright position she steadied herself on the sink basin and froze when she saw her reflection in the mirror.

Her face was lifeless; the only sign of emotion were the stained marks on her cheeks where her tears had been. The heavy bags under her eyes showed countless nights of sleep. Her once shining emerald orbs, looked like they had been replaced with painted stones, drained of any feeling they once held.

One thing crossed her mind as she stared at the ghost in the mirror. She thought of _him_. It was a habit she'd picked up a few days ago, every time she saw her reflection; an image of his smug face would push itself into the forefront of her mind and project itself before her.

She gritted her teeth at the thought of his face. The reason she was like this is all because of him. She could feel her head boil over. Even the sound of his name in her head felt like venom rolling of her tongue – dangerous and forbidden.

The anger coursed through her like a charging bull, clenching her fists tight enough to leave red marks where her nails had dug into her skin. Her fist connected with the glass and it was almost like time had slowed and she could see every tiny shard that tore away from the remnants of the mirror, flying past her head like a flock of birds, cutting at her skin as they fell to the tiled ground.

Her bloodied hands fell limply to her sides, but she couldn't feel the pain; she couldn't feel anything anymore.

Suddenly her legs buckled underneath her and she fell to the floor. The tears started to flow again as she lay on the bed of broken glass, but she made no attempt to stop them, she knew it would be pointless.

Hours passed, as she lay motionless on the bathroom floor, her thoughts unconsciously drifted to him. She couldn't stop it; even behind that mask he wore she could still see his smiling face, infuriating her when she knew there was nothing to smile about.

Maybe under different circumstances she would have smiled and laughed but reality and fate were working against her at full force lately. It was stupid of her to even think of that happy scenario, it was fake and pretence.

The prospect of doing this alone terrified her. She wasn't ready for this; she was only 21 and had so much to live for. However, the option of ending this situation now was something she could not stomach.

Her debating mind returned once again, telling her she wanted him, needed him even after what he had done to her. Then the words pathetic echoed throughout her brain, over and over again.

Her mind flashes back to that night he turned up on her apartment doorstep in the pouring rain. She opened the door to find him stood lazily as always, but something was different and he was staring at the floor and she could feel a tense aurora emanate from him. She invited him inside and offered him a drink, which he declined and he stood frozen at the door. She was about to ask him what was wrong when he blurted out 'we can't be together anymore, I'm sorry' and disappeared in a poof of smoke, along with her heart.

Angry and confused, she stalked him down to Team 7's old training ground and demanded a reason why. Only to be bombarded with excuses that 'she's too young' and 'it's taboo.' With her heart growing weaker with every hit he aimed at her she asked him one last question, 'do you love me?'

After a few minutes of silence she realised it was pointless asking him and turned to leave when she heard the answer,

'Yes.'

But by the time she had turned around he had already gone.

After that night, he was nowhere to be seen until Naruto had told her he was on an S-class solo mission, and he wasn't sure of his return.

Sakura knew he would be back, but her heartbreak was crushing her so she spent her days locked away in her apartment. Away from the sympathetic looks and the gossip.

Now she was burdened with this, and it was enough to send her on an emotional meltdown.

She soon realized that she was still lying in the middle of her bathroom floor, feeling the shards scratching at her skin.

She sat up slowly, before standing up and hearing the clinks of the tiny pieces of mirror as they bounced onto the floor. She stumbles out of the bathroom into the darkened apartment and heads towards the bedroom, collapsing onto her bed. She is drained both physically and mentally leaving her completely exhausted, wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and never having to wake up.

However the incessant knocking on her front door puts that plan on hold. She just lies there and listens to the hard sound of the wood and prays that whoever it is just goes away.

When the knocking eventually stops, she turns her head to peer out at the night sky above her balcony and feels the moonlight drown her face as she closes her tired eyes.

Moments later she senses a shadow blocking the light from the moon, and opens them to find _him_ standing there.

She doesn't know what to think, say or do. Her mind is in too much panic, even though her body is the complete opposite and just stays immobile as ever.

It's just my imagination.

She tells herself, and blinks her eyes shut, tired from her mind haunting her and playing tricks on her fatigued sole.

She hears a door creak open, followed by footsteps coming towards her.

_It's not real - he's not real_.

"Your key was under the plant pot."

You're dreaming, keep sleeping.

"Sakura, please look at me."

The pleading of his voice peeked her curiosity, forcing her to crack open her lifeless orbs. She saw his lanky form stood a few feet from her bed; he looked like a silhouette in the dark room, except his silver mane, which almost glistened in the moonlight.

Then something sparked from within her and her eyes held a look of fierceness.

"What are you doing here?"

There was an uncomfortable silence between them and she watched him as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I've come to apologize."

Finding the fighter within her she sat up cross-legged on the bed.

"You really think I'm going to forgive you?"

"No, I don't. But you didn't deserve what I said to you and how I treat you it-"

"Treat me? Treat me?" She screeched, " You broke my heart, Kakashi. I don't think I could ever forgive you."

Her ferocity disappeared as she slumped in her sitting position, and started to sob quietly.

"I messed everything up. I lost someone so precious to me and I can't stand myself for it."

She could hear the sadness in his words, but she couldn't find herself to spare him any pity. She looked up at his dark lonesome eye.

"Why did you do it Kakashi?"

She was begging him for the truth he knew she was. She deserved it; he had no excuses for breaking up with her.

Except he wasn't worthy of her - he was tainted.

"Because I don't deserve you, I'll only hold you back, and I'm the biggest regret you will ever make."

He looked over at her shaking head.

"You stupid man. How naïve do you think I am, I'm old enough to know what I want Kakashi, and that was you. I'm sick of being treated like a child."

"You're the only person I feel proud to have and to protect."

"Yeah, what about those promises you made me Kakashi?"

She questioned him, her eyes brimming with tears.

"I'm bad at keeping promises, even important ones. I wish I could change the past, but I can't so I will have to live with my mistakes, and I have made a lot of mistakes."

"You said you loved me."

She whispered, crossing her arms over her front protectively and closing her eyes.

Then she was caught completely off guard when she felt a pair of unmasked lips against her own. She was too shocked to respond, he drew back slowly, still bent down, and gave her a puzzled look.

Her mind was screaming that this is what she wanted, telling her to kiss him back. However, the nagging in the back of her mind reminded her of her other problem and how he would react when she told him. She knew he would take off over the hills; he was Konoha's number one bachelor for goodness sake.

He looked at her as if he had read her inside out.

"Sakura, what's the matter?"

He asked her worryingly, taking hold of her cold porcelain hands and placing it in his own.

"I can't Kakashi, I can't do this to you."

She rasped, trying to pull her hands out of his hold, only to be drawn closer to him.

"Please, Sakura. Let me help you."

She looked into his troubled expression, confused with herself. Where had her anger for him gone, not long ago she hated him with a passion. Now she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and embrace him. The only thing stopping her was the news she had to tell him, there was no point lying her way out, he would only find out later. She took a few moments and looked down at the floor.

The squeeze on her hand reminded her that Kakashi was still there on his knees, waiting for her to respond.

How do you prepare yourself for news like this?

"Sakura, I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong to you, you mean everything to me and I just want you to know that-"

"I'm pregnant."

She was crying again, but she didn't care. He knew the truth and that's what he wanted. Looks like they were both showing a little honesty tonight.

It took her a few moments to register two large arms wrapped around her, and that she was pressed up against a warm chest. She was baffled that he was still here, never mind holding her. Maybe, this was his goodbye and after this she wouldn't see him again. This must be what's happening she thought to herself, so she decided to make the most of it and placed her arms around him and pressed her face into the side of his neck.

The thought of him leaving her now, hurt more than these past few weeks. She wept quietly against him, wondering how she could possibly have any more tears to shed.

"Don't cry Sakura, we will figure this out."

"What?"

She asked, bewildered at his comment. She hadn't expected him to say anything at all. What she most expected was for him to have left her by now to be alone once more.

"You mean you're not-"

"Terrified? Absolutely, but I'm not going to leave you if that's what you mean."

She didn't even know they were together, but his words had reassured her beyond belief. He pulled back from their embrace, much to her disappointment, to study her face.

"But I'm prepared to make this work for us, and the baby."

A smile graced her lips, it was almost foreign to her, she hadn't been happy for some time.

"I just didn't imagine you wanting this, ever."

He chuckled lightly and looked into her bemused eyes.

"I don't know what I want, Sakura, but I know I want you. I think fate has its ways of bringing people together, and this child has been given to us for some reason and who am I to question that. If you want to start from square one and take it slowly, I'll accept that. But I vow to love and protect both of you, always."

She arranged herself more comfortably in his lap and lifted up his hitai-ite, and gently traced over the scar over his left eye.

"I thought you couldn't keep promises."

"I'm willing to start from now on."

He squeezed her closer and kissed her on the forehead. She leaned closer and whispered into his ear.

"I'll hold you to that."

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Thank you for sticking it to the end! I was thinking of maybe continuing it on, or doing a sequel, but I have not made my mind up yet so I'll leave it as in-progress for now.

I seriously hope it lives up to your expectations.

Reviews are always welcome!


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